Chanukah: Recognizing the Hand of Hashem in Our Lives

The holiday of Chanukah is in commemoration of two miraculous events: the miracle of one jug of oil lasting eight nights and the great victory of the Maccabees over the Greeks. One might suggest that we do two things to commemorate these two events; that we light the menorah to commemorate the miracle of the oil and we recite hallel on each day of Chanukah to show gratitude for the miraculous victory of war.

But is this really true? Are these two events so distinct? Are these two commemorations so distinctly applied to each event?

The famous Gemara in Shabbat (21) asks מאי חנוכה?, “What was the miracle of Chanukah?” It then proceeds to tell the story of the oil, but concludes by saying the Jews at the time made this into a Yom Tov, and said Hallel. This implies that Hallel is to be thankful for the miracle of the oil? We could similarly ask from the text we recite while lighting the menorah, הנרות הללו..., which primarily describes the miracle of the oil, but it also mentions the victory of the war. So which is it? It seems these two miracles are intertwined.

I had the privilege a few years ago to hear a shiur from my Rebbi, Rabbi Yonason Sacks, Rosh Yeshiva of Lander College for Men. In his shiur, Rabbi Sacks explained the true message of these miracles, and ultimately the true message of Chanukah. The miracle of the oil was clear and undeniable to all. The miracle of the war, however, could be explained rationally as another example of the underdog winning.

Imagine you were there at the time of these miracles; we could visualize the debate over the question of the war being miraculous or not. But then you hear of miracle of oil, which is undeniable, a נס נגלה, which illuminates for us the certainty the war was miraculous as well.

This idea is supported by the words of the Ramban at the end Parashat Bo, where he writes that miracles are there to shed light on everything Hashem does. We do not have a portion in Torat Moshe until we recognize that nothing in life is natural. It is all miraculous – some miracles are open and some are hidden, but they are not brought for that moment; they are brought to help us see that everything comes from Hashem. Rabbi Sacks added that in addition to translating נס as miracle, a נס can also be translated as flag or a banner. Why? Because miracles are intended to reveal to us the miraculous nature of the daily routine. There is no such thing as nature – it is all yad Hashem.  The Maharal expands, saying this is the real reason we needed the miracle of the oil altogether! Many commentators wondered why we needed a miracle at all, as the oil could be used in the Beit Hamikdash despite its impurity; that impurity is overridden when the entire tzibur is impure. It must be that this miracle was really only to shed light, and to indicate that miracle of the war was the same Yad Hashem.  This idea can be seen as well in the Rambam (3:3) where he describes the purpose of lighting the menorah as להראות ולגלות הנס, “to demonstrate and uncover the miracle.” One could have wondered, what are we uncovering? It must be, as explained earlier,  that the miracle of the oil uncovers the great miracle of Hashem, saving us in the aw; both events are miraculous and are absolutely critical. It is for this reason, when we light and say הנרות הללו, we mention the war in addition to the oil, and it is also why the Gemara, when describing מאי חנוכה, mentions the story of the oil but also mentions Hallel – we cannot separate these – they are all part of the same yad Hashem.

Rabbi Sacks concluded his shiur by explaining that most of our Yomim Tovim commemorate נסים גלויים, the open and undeniable miracles of יציאת מצרים, מתן תורה וענני הכבוד, but Chanukah and Purim are dealing with times of galut and hester panim, they are hidden. The purpose of these miracles are to reveal that the miracles of the שלש רגלים teach us how to celebrate Chanukah and Purim. This helps explain why in a Jewish leap year you delay and connect redemption of Purim to Pesach – Pesach represents the open and undeniable miracles, whereas Purim represents the hidden miracles. But these are not independent experiences;  they are all the same Yad Hashem, and it is for this reason we celebrate Purim in Ader Sheini and not Adar Alef.

We must recognize that life in its entirety is a miracle. There is no such thing as coincidence. Our waking up each day, the fact that most of us remain healthy with our physical and emotional capacities intact is in fact miraculous. As we celebrate this Chanukah, let’s be sure we share this idea with our children. Let’s be sure to show them the world is a miraculous place!

Parashat Vayishlach: It's the Little Things that Matter Most

This week’s parasha tells the episode of Yaakov’s struggle with the angel of Eisav. The Torah says, ויתר יעקב לבדו, ויאבק איש עמו עד עלות השחר - “Jacob was left alone and a man wrestled with him until the break of dawn.” Many commentators question why Yaakov remained alone? Why did he separate from the rest of his family? Rashi answers that after crossing the river with his family, he realized  he left some small jugs behind and went back to get them. Why? For a few small jugs? It was dangerous to go back alone. What was so important about them? Rashi explains further -- the righteous guard over monetary possessions more than their own bodies;  he went to save these small jugs despite the danger involved. But many commentators suggest there must be an even deeper lesson here. Let’s try to understand it through a parable.

A man once knocked on the door of a home and was greeted by the homeowner. “I absolutely love your house and must have it; I know it is worth $500,000, but I love it so much that I will pay you $1,000,000 for it.” The owner discussed it with his wife and they decided they had no interest in selling. The visitor was persistent and said, “All I need is one room in your amazing house. I will give you $250,000 to buy one room!” The owner discussed it with his wife, who felt this would leave her with little privacy in her own home, and so they rejected this offer as well. The visitor persisted, “All I need is to put one of my nails into your wall and I will pay you $50,000 for it!” The owner discussed this with his wife and they agreed that a nail couldn’t be too intrusive and so they agreed. The visitor came in the home, took a nail, hammered it into the living room wall and left.”

Later that night at 3:00 AM, a knock on the door awoke the homeowner’s wife. She asked her husband to answer the door and there he found the man who purchased a slot in the wall for his nail. The owner inquired to why he was there at such an odd time. The visitor replied, “I couldn’t let the nail stay there without a picture, so I brought a beautiful picture to hang up. I paid a lot of money for this so I must come inside now to hang up the picture. At 4:00 AM the door rang again, the visitor said, “I found an even better picture, I must hang this one up.” The same thing occurred at 5:00 AM, and repeated for a week.

The homeowner's wife told her husband she had enough and had not slept all week. She instructed her husband to go sell the visitor the home. The owner first offered to sell the home for $1,000,000, but the visitor replied, “I no longer need the whole home; I have my nail.” The owner replied, “just take it for the market value of $500,000.” The visitor again replied he no longer needed the home, as he was happy with just his nail. The owner persisted, “I will even sell it at a loss for $250,000; just take it and leave us alone.” But the visitor replied again that he no longer needed the home and was content with his nail. Finally, the owner and his wife were so frustrated that they just got up, left the house and told the visitor he could take over the home for nothing.

The lesson from this story can help us shed light on the importance of the small jugs of Yaakov. Each of us is on a path of growth in avodat Hashem and it is only the yetzer hara that gets in the way. He tries to attack us over small things, just to get his foot in the door, so he can break us down completely. This occurs in two ways:

1. The yetzer hara gets us to do small aveirot which eventually leads us to do bigger aveirot. He gets us first to do small things, convincing us they are not that bad. Once we fall in our spirituality and get used to some aveirot, our guard is down, and he gets us to perform even worse acts.
2. The yetzer hara prevents us from performing small mitzvot first, but eventually that prevents us from performing even bigger mitzvot. Again, he convinces usthe smaller ones are not so important and once we get out of the habit of performing these mitzvot, he is able to more easily prevent us from performing the big ones.

So what is our response? How do we overcome the yetser hara?

1. We need to live in the here and now. We need to take small steps. Remember the small jugs of Yaakov. Taking small steps in our avodat Hashem; not taking on too many new things at once, will allow us to grow in a healthy ways --  ways that will allow us to maintain our growth over the long term.  
2. From a slightly different perspective, we sometimes tragically see ourselves as pachim ketanim and listen to the deflating and denigrating lies of the angel of Eisav. We don’t believe we are capable of greatness; we believe we are worthless pots that are certainly not worth others risking their lives for us. We have to remember that we were all created with our own unique bility to be great and make a difference in the world. We can all achieve greatness!

Parashat Vayeitzei: Being Thankful For What We Have

The Gemara in Brachot (33b) says that one should thank Hashem for the bad that happens in his life the same way that he thanks Him for the good. What exactly did Chazal have in mind here? How can one possibly be thankful for the bad that happens to him? How can a poor person, who has nothing to eat, be as thankful as the wealthy man who affords the world’s finest delicacies? How can one who cannot afford to buy clothing for his children be as thankful as the man who affords closets full of clothing per child?

The Chofetz Chaim explains this with the following parable. A man once presented this question to a Rabbi and was told, “I also do not fully understand our Sages’ words, but we have a real tsaddik in our city who can certainly help you. He suffers a great deal, has barely anything to eat, sleeps on a hard bench and walks around barefoot. This man and his wife receive weekly charity to put the basic necessities on the table, and yet they live a happy life, serving Hashem with happiness, thanking Hashem for all that he has. This person will surely be able to help you understand the words of our sages. The man traveled to the home of this poor man and asked him how he understands the words of our Sages? How do you thank Hashem for all of the bad? To his surprise, the man responded, “You know, I also do not fully understand our Sages’ words. I am not the one who can help you since it seems to me that I never have had a bad day in my life; I lack nothing and Hashem has always been good to me.”

In reality, the tsaddik did not have a wonderful or easy life. But he was thankful for everything he had, and carried himself with a positive attitude which made his life a happy one. From where did he get this attitude? From which of our Avot or Imahot did he see this strength?

In parashat Vayeitzei, the Torah records the birth of Leah’s first four children: Reuven, Shimon, Levi and Yehudah, but the way the Torah characterizes the birth of the fourth son, Yehudah, is a bit odd. The Torah states:

ותהר עוד ותלד בן ותאמר הפעם אודה את ה׳, על כן קראה שמו יהודה, ותעמד מלדת. (כט:לה)

"And she became pregnant again and had a son; and she said: This time I will praise Hashem.” Therefore she called his name Yehudah.”

What does it mean that “this time” she thanked Hashem? Did she not thank Hashem upon the birth of her first three sons?

To make things even more confusing, Rashi on this pasuk quotes the Medrash that says, “From the day that Hashem created the world, no person came to thank Hashem until Leah came and thanked Him here in our parasha with הפעם אודה את ה׳. Why was she so thankful upon the birth of her fourth son? Rashi explains that Leah had a prophesy that through Yaakov there would be twelve tribes from his four wives. With the birth of her fourth son, she gave thanks for having a bigger portion than the other wives. (In actuality she would eventually have six sons).

As if our first question in understanding Chazal was not enough, how are we to possibly understand this Medrash? Leah was the first person to thank Hashem? Was Adam not thankful for being the first man to be created? Was Noach not thankful for being saved from the flood? Was Avraham not thankful for his wife and children? Not Yitzchak either? What does this mean? What is the message for us?

For those of us who are fortunate to have healthy children, we run the risk of taking them for granted. Not just their existence, but the added value that they each bring to the world. Leah understood that having another son meant having another entire tribe that would descend from her. With that came another tribe of people who would serve Hashem and do mitzvot. The domino effect would lead to millions of more mitzvot that would be attributed to Leah. Once Leah realized this, she was astonished and full of thanks.

This could also help us understand why she had more to thank than the Avot and Imahot before her. Until her time, no one had had so many sons to continue their legacy of service of Hashem. Adam only had Kain, Hevel and Sheit, Noach only had Shem, Avraham only had Yitzchak, and Yitzchak only had Yaakov. Leah had the zechut to raise four G-d fearing sons. She felt that having so much more than those before her, obligated her to be that much more thankful.

As Jews, we are called Yehudim, after this name of Yehudah. This name carries a responsibility of not just being thankful for everything we have, but to search for all of the things in our lives that we have to be thankful for. Like the Rabbi in the parable above, we have to see our very existence as a blessing. We have to see our family, our jobs, our community, even the petty things that we tend to focus on as blessings.

How can we teach ourselves to appreciate this reality?

I would argue that the place to start is to take our brachot more seriously. Chazal tell us that we should aim to recite one hundred brachot every day. It is for this reason -- if we are constantly thanking Hashem for what we have and focus on the words, we will come to recognize all of our blessings. Let us all focus on the brachot we recite when waking up in the morning, before we do mitzvot, when we daven, before and after we eat food. There is so much to be thankful for; we just have to open our eyes and see it.

Parashat Toldot: The Power of Peer Pressure

The parasha begins with Rivkah becoming pregnant with twins, and the Torah tells us:

ויתרצצו הבנים בקרבה, ותאמר אם כן למה זה אנכי, ותלך לדרוש את ה׳.

“The children agitated within her, and she said, “If so, why am I thus?” And she went to inquire of Hashem.”

There was something going on inside of her to such an extent that Rivkah needed guidance to support her feelings of distress. Rashi explains that the word ויתרצצו comes from the root רץ, to run. The distress of Rivkah would be incited whenever she would pass by the Torah Academy of Shem and Eber as Yaakov would “run” towards the beit medrash in desire to learn from them, whereas when she passed a house of idol worship, Eisav would “run” and struggle to get out.

The Brisker Rav asks a simple, often unnoticed question. Why did Yaakov want to leave the womb of Rivka to go learn in the yeshiva of Shem and Eber? Was he not already learning in the womb with the angel of Hashem? Chazal teach us that every baby learns the entire magnum opus of Torah while in the womb. As great as Shem and Eber were, could they present a Torah more sweet and grand as the angel of Hashem?

The Beit Halevi gives an astonishing answer to this question. Since Yaakov was in the womb, in the presence of his evil brother Eisav, it was better for him to lose out on learning with an angel, rather than associating  with a wicked person.

I believe this insight vastly enhances the meaning of a famous Mishnah in Pirkei Avot (Chapter 1, Mishnah 7) which says, הרחק משכן רע, ואל תתחבר לרשע. “Distance yourself from a bad neighbor and do not associate yourself with a wicked person.”  The Avot D’Rebi Natan explains one should not associate with a wicked person, even to learn Torah. Meaning, one might think it is ok to befriend the wicked to learn Torah, but Chazal in this Mishnah and the Torah in our parsha are telling us one you should never get close and associate with the wicked.

Taking this one step further, the Vilna Gaon says, “Do not associate with the wicked,” even to bring him closer to Torah. Really? Even if our intent is to bring the wicked closer to Torah, we should not do it? Why is this so?

Let’s ask one more question before we try and understand the deeper message here. The exact words in the Mishnah in Avot immediately preceding this says והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות, “that you should give everyone the benefit of the doubt.” Does it make sense to go straight from giving the benefit of the doubt to not even going near the wicked, even to learn Torah or to try and bring him closer to Torah?

I believe the message here is crucial for all of us. We live in an inclusive society, which for the most part is very positive. We encourage acceptance of differences, not being judgmental, having an open mind and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. But the Torah is teaching us that we should not be inclusive when it jeopardizes our religious stability or that of  our families. True Torah observance and commitment requires strength, consistency, and the ability to rise above peer pressure. This is even more difficult in today’s society where there is so much pulling at us, much of which can be tugging at our religious sensitivities. Yaakov is teaching us that it is better to leave the best chavruta in the world, the angel of Hashem, rather than associate with the wicked. To avoid negative religious influences, are your challenges as big as that? What do you have to give up to ensure you and your children remain close to the pathways of the Torah?