Parshat Bereishit: Sibling Rivalry Begins

The Torah does not waste any time introducing sibling rivalry into the world. The very first brothers in the world end up fighting, a fight that was so critical it led to one murdering the other. What exactly happened here and what are we supposed to learn from it? Let’s explore the story as told in the Torah and then fill in some gaps from the Medrash.

In chapter four, the Torah tells us Chava gave birth to Cain and Hevel.  Cain becomes a farmer and Hevel a shepherd. They both become successful and seek to bring offerings to Hashem. Cain brings an offering of the fruit of the ground, not his best quality, while Hevel follows with his own offering of the finest animals. Hashem “turns” to Hevel’s offering, but not to Cain’s. Cain gets really upset, and Hashem asks him “why are you so upset?”. Cain proceeds to speak to Hevel in the field and ultimately kills him. The aftermath is also interesting in how Hashem approaches Cain about this, but let’s leave that for another time.

What happened here? Why did Cain get so upset? The Torah clearly states Cain was upset, so why did Hashem ask him why he was so upset? Even if he was really upset, how did this lead to killing Hevel?

Medrash Rabba says they were fighting about how to rule the world.  One took the earth and one took the moveable objects. One said "That land you are standing on is mine!" and the other said "What you are wearing is mine!" One said "Take it off!" and the other said "Fly!" Because of this, "Cain rose up against Hevel his brother and slew him."

There is a famous story that once took place in the city of Brisk where a shochet came to the Beit din concerned one of his animals might have become a treifa and no longer kosher. He presented the animal to the dayan, Rav Simcha Zelig who confirmed the shochet’s fears that the animal was treif, and he had to bear the huge financial loss. The shochet accepted his ruling humbly and went home. A few weeks later, the same shochet comes into the beit din with a financial dispute with another individual, one of relatively minor financial impact. After hearing the case, the dayan rules against the shochet, whereupon he gets up enraged, begins yelling at the dayan and had to be escorted out of the beit din. Everyone was stunned and wondered why the same shochet who had accepted the dayan’s ruling a weeks prior on a matter that cost him a huge financial loss, would now get enraged over losing a few dollars? Rav Chaim Brisker explained the difference; in the second case he lost to someone else! When it was a case of his animal being treif, that was just him and halacha, no opposition, but in the second case he lost to someone else. The amount of money wasn’t the issue; it was that he couldn’t stand losing to someone else.

With this story in mind, Rabbi Frand suggests we can understand Cain and the source of his anger. If he was upset Hashem ignored his gift and felt rejected, that would be an understandable reason to be hurt. If, however, his anger stemmed from losing to Hevel, then his anger was unfounded. Hashem said to Cain, “Why are you annoyed?. It was because he knew Cain was angered by the competition. He was teaching Cain a lesson: When we get upset and angry, we need to assess our emotions to see where they stem from. Are we hurt because of our own failure or because someone else did better than we did?

The lesson for us is the same; we should strive for excellence in all we do, and if we have a setback or failure, it is ok to be upset and use that energy to refocus ourselves to be successful the next time around. But to be angered by competition and/or because others are striving while we struggle is not a healthy emotion.

Taking this one step further, the Medrash Tanchuma says Cain’s offering consisted of flax, while Hevel’s was of wool. Clearly the mixing of wool and flax (linen) is flammable and leads the Torah to prohibit the wearing of shaatnez (clothing with a mixture of wool and linen). Add this to the Medrash Rabba we mentioned above, it became clear to the brothers that they could not coexist and that is why they sought to divide the world - one with the land and one with the moveable objects. These offerings of shaatnez led to destruction... the first murder! I once heard Rabbi Pesach Krohn add to this the understanding of why there is only one exception to the halacha of shaatnez, only one person who not only is allowed to wear shaatnez, but is obligated to. The Kohen Gadol’s special clothing consisted of shaatnez. The first Kohen gadol was Aaron who we know was an אוהב שלום ורודף שלום, someone who always sought after peace. He was the opposite of Cain and Hevel; he brought people together as the rectification of discord.

Let us learn this invaluable lesson and seek self improvement, but not competition for its own sake. Let us seek to bring people together in peacefulness and not do things to create strife or hostility. Finally, let’s get along with our siblings!