Parashat Pinchus: Standing Up For Hashem

פִּֽינְחָ֨ס בֶּן־אֶלְעָזָ֜ר בֶּן־אַהֲרֹ֣ן הַכֹּהֵ֗ן

Parashat Balak seems to end like a “to be continued” episode of a show. Pinchas kills Zimri after he commits a detestable act of promiscuity and now our Parasha begins again with Pinchas. The Torah seems to praise Pinchas for taking the law into his own hands and defending Hashem’s honor and dignity.

There is one (at least) question that is glaring at us. We already were introduced to Pinchas last week, so why does the Torah feel the need to tell us the lineage of Pinchas as the son of Elazar and grandson of Aharon? Don’t we already know who he is?

Rashi explains that the Torah mentions his relationship to Aharon because the other shevatim were speaking disparagingly about Pinchas. They were asking how he felt he had the chutzpa to act on behalf of Hashem since his mother came from  family of idolaters. Therefore, the Torah tells us not to forget that his grandfather on his father’s side was Aharon and that gave him the right to act the way he did.

The commentary of the Kli Yakar offers an insight that teaches us a crucial lesson about our own spirituality. He says that the act of killing Zimri was not what made Korach so great. What made him great was him putting the kavod Hashem above all else; he put that kvod above public opinion, above peer pressure and above what everyone else was saying. They argued, how could you stand up for Hashem when you come from idol worshippers. They even said that your grandfather Aharon took part in the golden calf so how can you stand up for Hashem? But the conclusion was that all of this actually led to more kavod Hashem since Pinchas was able to withstand the pressure and do what he knew to be right.

This teaches us a crucial lesson; when we stand up for Hashem, His Torah, His mitzvot, etc - never be concerned that somehow your kavod will be diminished. On the contrary, stand up for what you know to be right despite what public opinion or public practice might be. This will not only lead to more kavod Hashem, but it will lead to more kavod for you as well.

Connecting to the Three Weeks and Tisha B'Av

רב שמשון דוד פינקוס – דף רמב

כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה השמחתה

מידת האבילות על החורבן תלויה בקשר הפנימי לרבונו של עולם

The difficulty with this time of the year is our ability to connect and feel its greatness. Other Yomim Tovim are easy to connect to, to feel the growth and the keduash. Who doesn’t walk away from the Pesach Seder uplifted! On Shavuot, we feel the kabalas Hatorah – we know what we are connecting to. The Yomim Noraim as well, we know what they are about, we can feel the growth. But the period of “The Three Weeks,” what is it all about? How do we connect to it? Furthermore, we don’t really connect to fasting; what is it about? We have to figure this out because Chazal say that a Taanit has a very important avodah.

There is a story with Napoleon the Great who was walking through the streets of Paris and heard crying coming from a house. After inquiring what the crying was about, he was told it was Jews crying about some burned down house from 2000 years ago. Napoleon responded, “I am certain that if they are still crying over that house, they will merit seeing it rebuilt.

In previous generations, they knew what it was to cry. Our generation doesn’t know how to cry; we don’t know what to cry about during “The Three Weeks.” Unfortunately, we view this period of time as a burden, it has lists of things we can’t do and we can’t wait for it to end.

When you go to a simcha and see everyone dancing, it is not always apparent which people are closest to the simcha because everyone is dancing and part of the simcha. But when you view a tzara, it is clear who is b’zaar; the one who is crying is closest to the pain. The same is true in our connection to Hashem. When we rejoice on Yom Tov, it is not always evident who is close to the baal simcha. But in days of mourning, we can tell who is in pain because only someone who is really close to Hashem will feel the real pain of mourning.

How have we lost this closeness to Hashem that we don’t know how to cry or how to mourn?

The commentators explain that “The Three Weeks” are a preparation for the three weeks from Rosh Hashana to Shemini Atzeret. In reality then, they are a preparation and foundation for our avodah for the entire year. Somehow we have to leave Tisha B’av a new person, a person feeling a real closeness to Hashem. If we can do that, that will bring the rebuilding of the Bais Hamikdash.

The root of the problem is that we don’t know what to mourn for. What is there to cry for? What are we missing? We don’t feel anything lacking. We don’t know anything about korbanot to feel that they are missing. Somehow, each of us on our own level have to appreciate these three weeks and use them for דביקות ועליה. The halachot of not listening to music, not taking hot showers during the nine days, etc – this is our avodah of this time – this feeling of discomfort is our feeling galut. And even if it is hard for us to really internalize these feelings, we should see that as the avodah, but at least we have to understand that this is the truth.

When it comes to בין אדם לחברו, like middot, Shalom Bayit, etc., the obligation is to be b’simcha and imbue that on to the people around you. This is easier for us to connect to, it is easier for us to go above and beyond. But our בין אדם למקום is harder to connect to and so if we are strong, we do what we are required. But very few are able to go above and beyond; the way we view this, doing what’s required is hard enough for us.

We have to recognize that an important principle in our avodat Hashm is to equate the way we view בין אדם לחברו and בין אדם למקום. Throughout the Torah (especially in Shir Hashirim) we find the connection between Hashem and the Jewish people as one of דביקות, אהבה, וחיבה to the extent that when a Jew learns Torah he should view it as a kiss from Hashem. Hashem is our ידיד וחבר קרוב.

But why don’t we feel this? Why are there Jews who don’t feel אהבת ה'? יראת ה'? אמונה?

The answer is that we all have free choice and we do not allow Hashem into our lives. So the main avodah is to let Hashem in. Through learning Torah and doing mitzvot we can come close to Him, create a real דביקות.

Let us know connect this to “The Three Weeks.”

Just as between man and woman we have a period known as dating, so too this process applied to our marriage to Hashem. Before giving us the Torah, the pasuk says "אתם ראיתם אשר עשיתי למצרים וכוי (שמות יט, ב-ו) "ואתם תהיו לי ממלכת כהנים וגוי קדוש" – this is the foundation of being a Jew. But why did Hashem bring up what He did in Egypt now? The one thing that causes love between two people is the feeling that you matter to them. Hashem reminded the Jews what He did in Egypt to show them that He cares about them, that they matter to Him. This is the preparation for kabalat Hatorah.

Do we care as much about Hashem? Do we feel the connection? The “Three Weeks” is the time to build the kesher with Hashem – this is the avodah of this time period. Look at what we are missing. What the Bait Hamikdash represented; if we had it we could cling to Hashem on a higher level. If we had the Bait Hamikdash we could feel the same closeness to Hashem the the תנאים ואמוראים felt. That is the meaning in "כל המתאבל על ירושלים זוכה ורואה בשמחתה -  our mourning shows how much we are connected to Hashem.

The 17^th of Tamuz was the day when Moshe Rabbeinu broke the first luchot. We have to realize that this was not just a part of history, something that happened 2000 years ago. Chazal tell us that "שברי הלוחות עדיין נמצאים כאן." – The shards of the luchos are still here today. We can learn for hours and then forget everything we learned, this is the shards of the luchos. If we can begin the cry over the שברי לוחותת, we can begin to see what we are lacking and we can show Hashem that we care. When we show Hashem that we care, that can help restore the connection with Him and then things can return to the way they once were. תשעה באב is called a מועד, because this is The Time, the day that is at the center of our connection to Hashem during these days of Galut and for all generations of the Galut.  So just as we cannot function without Yom Kippur, without it what connection do we have to Hashem, we have to realize that it is the avodah of Tisha B’av that restores the connection with Hashem which allows to us to get to Yom Kippur and beyond that to Simchat Torah.

If you look at a person playing ball, you can tell in a minute if he is a professional or if he is not; you can tell if this is his עיקר החיים. So too with a person who does mitzvot, you can tell in a minute if he is doing them because it is a mitzvah or if he is learning because this is his life. This time period of “The Three Weeks” is to determine "כי הם חיינו ואורך ימינו" – is the Torah and our connection to Hashem our purpose in life. If it is, then when we see the Torah being defiled in the streets, we will care; we will cry streams of tears.

If we can bring ourselves to this, then we will certainly be ready for Rosh Hashanah and the kabalat hamalchut that comes along with it. When we spend these three weeks feeling that Hashem is a part of us, we can come to anoint Him on Rosh Hashanah.

Parashat Balak: The Real Root of Believing in Hashem

The Mishnah in Pirkei Avot (5:19) asks a strange question and gives an even stranger answer. “What is the difference between the students of Avraham Avinu and the students of Bilam? The students of Avraham posses a good eye, a humble spirit and a moderate appetite. While the students of Bilam have an evil eye, a haughty spirit and a limitless appetite.”

Is that really the difference? Isn’t the difference that the students of Avraham believed in Hashem and the students of Bilam beloved in idols? What were chazal trying to teach us here?

The Sefer Shlalei Rav suggests that most of us misunderstand the question of the Mishnah. It was not asking what Is different between the two groups of students. Rather, it is asking, what was the character of the students of Avraham that led them to follow Abraham’s teachings and become believers in Hashem? That was a generation of idol worship, so how did they come to avoid all that?

With this the understanding of the question, now we understand the Mishnah’s amazing answer- good middot. When a person is not entangled in bad middot he can see the truth.  This was the foundation of Avraham’s students. On the flip side, the students of Bilam lived through years of crazy miracles and yet they didn’t come to believe in Hashem; why not? They had bad middot and this brought them close to Bilam and the service of idols. 

We all know that middot are important, but it seems to me that the message here shows us a deeper meaning to middot. We need them to allow us to be real believers in Hashem. It shows us that the Bein Adam L’chaveiro and Bein Adam L’makom are interconnected. We cannot believe in Hashem without first working on our personal character. 

Parashat Chukat: What Was So Bad About Hitting the Rock?

Moshe was perhaps the holiest of all men and yet, one mistake of hitting the rock took away his lifelong dream of going to Eretz Yisrael. What was so bad about hitting the rock? This is further complicated by the fact that in Parashat Beshalach Hashem told Moshe to hit the rock. What changed?

My Rabbi, Rabbi Moshe Weinberger in his sefer Sparks from the Fire has an amazing approach to help us understand what went wrong for Moshe. To start with, the Torah itself does not really explain what was bad about hitting the rock. We need the commentaries to help glean an inside look. There is a dispute between the Rambam and Rashi, with Rambam suggesting that it wasn’t the hitting of the rock that was so bad, but rather it was Moshe had excessive anger. This is expressed when he says, “Listen you rebels” (20:12). Rashi, however, says that Moshe hitting the rock was a clear act of disobeying Hashem after being instructed to speak to the rock.

The Maharal, however, suggests that the Rambam and Rashi actually do not disagree at all, but each was speaking about a different stage in the process. The process began with Moshe getting angry and that led to him hitting the rock.

Rabbi Weinberger says an amazing thing to tie this together all based on the premise that Hashem speaks to every generation through the Torah as if it were given to us today.  In Parashat Beshalach, the setting is a Jewish people who were thirsty and began to complain to Moshe. Moshe was afraid they would kill him and so Hashem said to hit the rock. Water came out and everything was in order. So what changed in Parashat Chukat? This was a new generation. The previous generation had left Mitzrayim who had grown up as slaves, people familiar with force and harshness. In kind, Moshe used force to get to the water. But our Parasha is 40 years later with a generation of people who have grown up in the desert with all of their needs provided for by Hashem They were a softer generation, one who didn’t understand force, but rather, understood speech and dialogue. This is why Moshe was told to speak to the rock and not to hit it.

There is an important lesson for us in parenting, in how we speak and direct our children. Our parents and grandparents grew up in a different world than the one our children are growing up in. Our parents lived through war, depression and hardship. That generation also educated the children with a sense of harshness and discipline. But that heavy-handed approach does not work in our children’s generation, who have grown up a softer, less intense world. If we were to educate them with old tactics, it would not work at best, and at worst it would shatter them.

Perhaps now we can understand Moshe’s mistake. Moshe hit the rock the same as he had done 40 years earlier. On his very lofty level he did not appreciate that the new generation had to be treated differently. He didn’t realize that this generation needed a gentle approach, one of speech and communication, not of force and hitting. Rabbi Weinberger explains that Moshe not getting into Eretz Yisrael was not a punishment, but more of a natural consequence of him not being able to understand and lead the next generation into Israel successfully.

Parashat Korach: Beginning to Understand Machloket

ויקח קרח בן יצהר בן קהת בן לוי ודתן ואבירם בני אליאב ואון בן פלת בני ראובן (טז:א)

In this week’s parasha we read about Korach and his machloket with Moshe. Let’s try to understand this machloket based on the words of the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot (5:17) where it says

כל מחלוקת שהיא לשם שמים סופה להתקיים, ושאינה לשם שמים אין סופה להתקיים. איזוהי מחלוקת לשם שמים זו מחלוקת של הלל ושמאי, ושאינה לשם שמים זו מחלוקת קרח וכל עדתו.

“Every dispute that is for the sake of Heaven, will in the end endure; But one that is not for the sake of Heaven, will not endure. Which is the controversy that is for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Hillel and Shammai. And which is the controversy that is not for the sake of Heaven? Such was the controversy of Korah and all his congregation.”

Chazal are teaching us how to act when we encounter machloket; if it is for the sake of Heaven, we should fight with strength for the truth, but if it is not for the sake of Heaven, we should run away from the conflict. 

Let’s ask two basic questions that can help us shed light on Machloket:

1. In hindsight it is clear to us that the debate of Korach was not for the sake of Heaven, but for the sake of his own kavod to be the Cohen Gadol. But had we been there in the moment, would it have been so obvious? Korach was a gadol in the generation, so would it have been clear that his intentions were not pure?
2. Wasn’t the machloket between Korach and Moshe? Why does the Mishnah say that it was between Korach and his congregation?

The Sefer Otzrot HaTorah suggests a few perspectives that give us an important insight into machloket, controversy. I think these ideas will be very practical suggestions for how we approach machloket.

1. Malbim suggests that a machloket for the sake of Heaven is where both parties are unified in their search for the truth, whereas a machloket that is not for the sake of Heaven is where at least some of the parties are out for their own honor and respect. So it was Korach and his congregation who were out for their own honor. Korach thought he was next in line to be Kohen Gadol, Datan V’aviram were upset that the kehuna went to the tribe of levi and the kingship went to Yehudah. So when you see a debate with internal fighting even within the one group, you can bet it is not for the sake of Heaven.
2. Rav Yonatan Eibeshitz says that our yetzer hara often tricks us into thinking that our opinions in a debate are for the sake of Heaven. But the test is whether aside from the issue under debate, do the two parties love and respect each other; this is for the sake of Heaven, or do the two parties constantly not get along; that is not for the sake of Heaven. The best example of a machloket for the sake of Heaven is Hillel and Shamai who loved and respected each other. On the other hand, Korach and his congregants who nearly sought to stone Moshe, they clearly did not have love and respect for him.
3. The ימין יוסף gives us another way to determine the true intent of a debate. Our yetzer hara tries to keep us away from  machloket for the sake of Heaven, whereas one not for the sake of Heaven he attempts to get us heated and riled up to debate, perhaps even if the issue is not significant to us.
4. The sefer הגיונו המוסר gives us yet another way to determine one’s true intent. If both sides are ready to hear the other side and to work through to determine the truth, that is for the sake of Heaven. Korach and his congregation just riled each other up and did not take their opinions with an open mind to Moshe; this was clearly not for the sake of Heaven.

The lesson seems to be clear. Let us not be known as the person who debates for the sake of the debate, nor shall we be the person who has to always be right, and certainly not be the one who debates for public honor. However, when there is kavod Hatorah or kavod Hashem at stake, we should fight with pride to bring out the truth.