Parashat Nitzavim: Teshuvah - It is so close

יא  כִּי הַמִּצְוָה הַזֹּאת, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם--לֹא-נִפְלֵאת הִוא מִמְּךָ, וְלֹא רְחֹקָה הִוא.

יב  לֹא בַשָּׁמַיִם, הִוא:  לֵאמֹר, מִי יַעֲלֶה-לָּנוּ הַשָּׁמַיְמָה וְיִקָּחֶהָ לָּנוּ, וְיַשְׁמִעֵנוּ אֹתָהּ, וְנַעֲשֶׂנָּה.

יג  וְלֹא-מֵעֵבֶר לַיָּם, הִוא:  לֵאמֹר, מִי יַעֲבָר-לָנוּ אֶל-עֵבֶר הַיָּם וְיִקָּחֶהָ לָּנוּ, וְיַשְׁמִעֵנוּ אֹתָהּ, וְנַעֲשֶׂנָּה.

יד  כִּי-קָרוֹב אֵלֶיךָ הַדָּבָר, מְאֹד:  בְּפִיךָ וּבִלְבָבְךָ, לַעֲשֹׂתוֹ.

11 For this commandment which I command thee this day, it is not too hard for thee, neither is it far off.

12 It is not in heaven, that thou shouldest say: 'Who shall go up for us to heaven, and bring it unto us, and make us to hear it, that we may do it?'

13 Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say: 'Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it unto us, and make us to hear it, that we may do it?'

14 But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.

What mitzvah are pesukim 11-14 talking about? It is not far from us and not in the heavens?

Rashi explains it as calling attention to the mitzvah of learning Torah. Much has been written to help us understand the message according to this very understanding, given by Rashi. But Ramban says the pasuk refers to the mitzvah of Teshuvah; it is easy to do and close to us, in our mouths and hearts.

Is this true? Teshuvah is easy? Don’t we know it to be the opposite? It is really hard to change our ways?

The great Rav Yeruchem Levovitz explains the difficulty is because it is so close to us; it is “in our mouths and hearts,” so there is nothing closer to the essence of a person than that. There is nothing or no one standing in the way but ourselves. No one else can hold us back. But this is also the difficult part - it is all up to us! No one else can do it for us. As we sin, we dig ourselves into a  deeper and deeper hole, and knowing we alone are the only ones who can get ourselves out of it makes it a very daunting task.

Rav Chaim Shmulewitz sums it up by asking, if teshuvah is so easy, why don’t we find more people doing real teshuvah? Many people out there who sin understand they are not doing the right thing; why don’t more people change their ways? After all, it is close to us, in our mouths and hearts?

Rav Chaim explains that a Man’s challenge is when he becomes too accustomed to his situation in life, becoming complacent. Many people do not stop to think about how they got where they are, what will the end look like, what will the consequences of my choices be? We do not realize it is our complacency that leads us down the path of staleness; one where we do not grow as individuals.

The answer of Rav Chaim can be supported by a novel interpretation to the pasuk at the end of Parshat Ki Teitzei;  when Amalek attacked the Jewish people, the Torah describes that Amelek was so bad because אשר קרחה בדרך, which is usually interpreted to mean he “cooled us” off. To mean since the exodus from Egypt, the Jews were “hot,” no one wanted to touch them because the hand of Hashem was evident. However, perhaps the interpretation is  “we cooled down,” in that we became indifferent or complacent. This characteristic prevents us from doing teshuvah, for we think we are doing well and not focused on our growth.

One final explanation as to why teshuvah is “close to us,” is offered by the Sefer Kadosh V’norah. He explains it is close to us because we can accomplish it by taking small, measurable steps forward. He elaborates by explaining with a mashal of a person who breaks his arm, has surgery and after months in a cast, he can barley can barely lift anything upon the cast being removed. Over time and strengthening the muscles, he can slowly build his strength back up. How did he do this? Slow and steady work, allowed the muscles to grow in a healthy way.  So, too, for us, we have many challenges in life. The path to a life of Torah and Yirat Shamayim is like a ladder with many rungs of areas we need to grow in. Don’t look at how tall the ladder is. Rather, look how close the next rung is; you can do it, one rung at a time.

Parshat Ki Tavo: The Jewish View of The Confessional

With Rosh Hashana and the Aseret Yomai Teshuva approaching, the topic of teshuva, repentance should be weighing on our minds. Although the classic commentaries differ on exactly how to define the process of teshuva, in essence, it comes down to five steps:

1. הכרת החטה - Recognizing our sin
2. חרטה - Regretting our sin
3. עזיבת החטה - Stopping the sin
4. קבלה לעתיד - Accepting upon ourselves not to commit that sin in the future
5. וידוי - Confessing or admitting the sin

Much has been written about each stage of the teshuva process, but here I focus on the last step, The Confessional. What exactly does Hashem expect from us? What exactly are we confessing to?

Interestingly, the concept of וידוי, confessing, comes from a mitzvah in this week’s parsha which does not seem to connect to sin or repentance. The mitzvah of Ma’aser, requires us to give 10% of our produce to the Levi. As part of giving these tithes, there is a process called Viduy Ma’aser. What kind of viduy is that? Why is it called confession? In fact, even the wording is strange, for a person says to Hashem,

וְאָמַרְתָּ לִפְנֵי יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ בִּעַרְתִּי הַקֹּדֶשׁ מִן-הַבַּיִת, וְגַם נְתַתִּיו לַלֵּוִי וְלַגֵּר לַיָּתוֹם וְלָאַלְמָנָה, כְּכָל-מִצְוָתְךָ, אֲשֶׁר צִוִּיתָנִי:  לֹא-עָבַרְתִּי מִמִּצְו‍ֹתֶיךָ, וְלֹא שָׁכָחְתִּי.

Loosely translated, this means the person says to Hashem that we have removed the holy things from the house and have given the correct things to the Levi, according to the commandment I have been commanded. Not only that, I have not missed this obligation and have not forsaken it.

It seems someone who can say this has much to be proud of. What then is the viduy? Where is the confession? Where is the sin?

Rav Soloveitchik has a novel insight shedding light on this obligation and the important message it imparts. The secret lies with one letter - a simple letter כ. When the pasuk says that “I did ככל, like all that you commanded me, the כ is making a powerful statement. I am saying I did “like,” everything you commanded me. In other words, I didn’t do what you commanded me perfectly, but rather I am confessing the commandment was done imperfectly; here in lies the confession.

Rabbi Yissocher Frand expounds on this idea by suggesting  if we each were to examine our deeds, we will find that we perform many beautiful mitzvot, but there is often something lacking in content and depth. We might be very careful with our observance of Shabbat, but do we treat the Shabbat with the respect it deserves? We might have a beautiful Shabbat meal, but do we keep our conversations Shabbat related, devoid of weekday planning or lashon hara? Similarly, many of us are careful to daven every day, but do we ensure we daven with a minyan? Do we spend the time we are in shul effectively, devoid of side conversations with our friends?

In essence, the obvious part of confessing is the distinct and blatant sins, the imperfections we should spend our lives seeking to improve upon. However, the message of viduy ma’aser is that we need to be more rigorous when exploring our spiritual growth; we need to investigate every aspect of our Avodat Hashem to insure we are doing our best. Let’s not convince ourselves we are ok the way we are. Remember that Hashem does not expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to strive to our highest potential!

A Thought on Parshat Ki Teitzei - Keeping the Entire Torah: You Can Do It!

This week’s paarsha contains an episode that it is difficult for us 21st century beings to fully understand. The story of Yefat Toar, when a Jewish male soldier goes to war and sees an attractive non-Jewish woman, unable to withstand the temptation, the Torah permits the man to take her for a wife. The pasuk says ״וראית בשביה אשת יפת תאר וחשקת בה ולקחת לך לאשה״ and Rashi comments ״לא דיברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע, שאם אין הקב׳׳ה מתירה – ישאנה באיסור.״

This is hard to comprehend. For hundreds and hundreds of years, Jewish society has lived with the decree of Rabbeinu Gershom, who forbids a man to have more than one wife; something that was clearly permitted and accepted in biblical times. But perhaps more troubling is the notion that because the man cannot withstand a temptation of prohibition, the Torah permits it? How are we to understand that?

The commentators offer various explanations to help us understand this story, but I will focus on a different angle -  a powerful message we can glean from this episode.  The sefer שללי רב quotes an amazing story that occurred with Rav Yechezkel Abromsky. Rav Abromsky, a great Torah giant and former Av Beit Din in London would regularly give a shiur in parashat hashavua on Friday evenings for young Jews who were not yet observant. Every week they would come to his house to hear his Torah. When the week of Parashat Ki Teizei arrived Rav Abromsky was very anxious for he did not know how to explain this parasha in a way non-observant Jews could connect to it. As Friday night arrived, the Rav still did not know what he would say to these young minds - he davened to Hashem for the right words. And just like that, in the middle of the meal, an approach popped into his head, which would prove to be a most powerful lesson. When the students arrived Rav Abromski said to them, “before you open the books, you should know today we are going to learn a lesson that will obligate you to keep the entire Torah.” He went on to explain that in this week’s parasha, the Torah permits us to do something that would otherwise be considered a sin. Hashem permits this act to us because the evil inclination would be raging so roughly, making it too difficult for us to withstand. The logic to this is Hashem would never command us to do something not within our capacity to fulfill. From this we can glean, that EVERYTHING else in the Torah - every positive and negative commandment - are commandments we are capable of fulfilling. There is not a prohibition in the Torah we are not able to gather the strength to withstand. If there were, this week’s parasha teaches us Hashem would have created some permission to violate it.

Wow! What a powerful message. We live in a time where society presents us with many conflicting ideas, attitudes and opinions. We often find ourselves in places where keeping Kosher is not as easy as it is when we are in Flatbush. We often find ourselves in places where keeping Shabbat, both in private and in public is not so easy. Let us never say “We Can’t.” It might be hard, and some of us may have come from a less observant upbringing, but do not use the excuse you can’t. Maybe you can’t do it yet, but we all can do it. If we focus on the hidden message of the Yefat Toar we will understand we can do it, Hashem wants us to do it. Let’s spend our lives working towards doing it!

The Month of Elul - What is the One Thing We Really Want?

בלבבי משכן אבנה – יומים נוראים

אחת שאלתי...אותה אבקש

בירור מהו הרצון האמיתי

In the month of Elul, to some degree we all feel the inspiration to do teshuvah. But what are we supposed to do? What is the root of true introspection?

Everyone wants good things in life: a good wife, a good husband, good children, good health, good livelihood and a nice house, etc. We can all add to this list of things we want in life, but it is crucial for a person to ask himself, when you are done with this list of ten or twenty things, what is the one most important thing you want in life? If Hashem decreed that you could have one request automatically fulfilled, what would it be? אחת שאלתי מאת ה' אותה אבקש – you can have anything in the world. What would it be?

We often hear people say “the main thing is good health. But who usually says that? Is it the 20 year olds? No, it is people a bit older; as you get older you appreciate the meaning of good health. But we have to ask ourselves, what is so important about good health? What does it do for us? Yes we get to live, but what are we living for? What do we want out of life? Unfortunately, a person can live until 70 or 80 and never ask himself that question. What is it all about?

If a person would enter the business world, but without asking or learning how a business works, he clearly is not set up for success. Similarly, many of us go through life trying to achieve something worthwhile, but we haven’t asked ourselves what we are trying to achieve.

The real question is, how much time and effort are we willing to put in to asking this question?

If a person goes to the doctor and לא עלינו finds something isn’t right with his blood tests. He will run to do further tests. If that doesn’t help him figure out the situation, he will go from doctor to doctor, specialist to specialist to assess the situation and search for remedies. He will be ready to spend every last dollar for the medicine that will cure him. Why? Simple, it is for the benefit of his health. Again, what is the health for? To live. So why live? Are we ready to spend the same amount of time and money to figure out what we are supposed to be doing with our life?

We all do many mitzvos: we daven, put on tefilin, keep Shabbos, etc. each to our own level. How are we going to be repaid for these actions? In רוחניות – if he does not want רוחניות then there is no way to reward him for his actions, because when he leaves this world and comes before Hashem he will be empty handed; he didn’t want the spiritual reward and his physical possessions are gone.

If a person is really after the material things in life, then when he comes before Hashem at 120 he will come with many mitzvos too, but the bais din will say to him, “we will reward you for your many mitzvos by giving you a new car.” He has no more use for that and is left empty-handed. Think about this idea for a moment. What would you say if I told you to go to work for a month and at the end of the month you are not getting paid your salary? What would you do? What would you do if after 70 years you didn’t get the payment of your pension or your entire life’s work? You were living your whole life expecting it! We live our lives doing mitzvos and expect to get rewarded after we leave this world, but it isn’t that simple. It is similar to a little boy who did something good and his father rewards him with a brand new car. He can’t drive for fifteen years, what is he going to do with it? Or an adult works for a month and then is paid with a pair of glasses; but he has perfect vision so what use is the glasses?

Hashem is נאמן לשלם שכר, but who says that we are preparing ourselves to receive the שכר?

Again, we are all busy trying to do good things, but do we know what we really want? Do we want something that we will be able to be rewarded with and appreciate in the world to come?

Everyone has a spiritual side, the question is what is the proportion of his desire for רוחניות vs. his desire for גשמיות. There are many people who wake up in the morning and worry all day about the גשמיות of life, but spend only a small amount of time learning Torah, doing chesed or thinking about how to perform other mitzvoth properly. But what is on their mind all day? Are they worried about money and physical pleasures or are they sad that they don’t have more time to learn or do chesed? Again, we have to ask ourselves, what is it that we really want?

The Month of Elul: Making Room for Hashem in Our Lives

בלבבי משכן אבנה 

דודי באלול ואבינו מלכנו בראש השנה

We know that אלול corresponds to אני לדודי ולדודי לי. During this month, Hashem is referred to as our דודי, our beloved. Yet, when we reach Rosh Hashanah, there is no mention of דודי, we only find Hashem as אבינו מלכנו, אם כבנים אם כעבדים. If Elul is the preparation for Yomim Noraim, then what happened to the דודי?

A דוד, uncle is someone who comes to visit occasionally, but not constantly. But a father is constantly living with his son. Similarly a slave is always in the house of the king.  So in the month of Elul, our relationship with Hashem is like a דוד, an uncle. It is not yet a complete closeness. But once we reach Rosh Hashanah and Aseres Yomai Teshuvah, then the closeness becomes like a son to a father, דרשו ה' בהמצאו קראוהו בהיותו קרוב, we are close. So Elul is a time of preparation. We start with the relationship as דודי, but if we went into Rosh Hashanah with דודי as well, then we would not be in the right place. The avoda is to start as Dodi and reach Avi.

Q: How do we accomplish this?

The pasuk says in Shiur Hashirim 5:2) קול דודי דופק פתחי לי אחותי רעייתי יונתי תמתי , where Hashem is called our Dodi, our beloved, and He is knocking on the door, on the heart of every person, asking to be let in. But when a person knocks on a door, is it always opened? Sometimes no one is home, and even if someone is home, perhaps they are asleep. During the month of Elul, Hashem is knocking on our hearts. The question is, who is listening to the knocks to let Him in?

If we want Hashem to be our Dodi, then we have to be prepared to open the door for the knock, we have to open our hearts and let Hashem in. But many of our hearts are closed, we may not hear the knock. The avoda of Elul is to open our hearts so we can hear Him and let Him in.

How big of an opening do we need?

When you build a house, you build a doorway the size for a normal sized person to fit through the entrance. When you want to bring in furniture or other big items, then you need to open the entrance or build a wider one. Hashem is telling us to open a small opening כחודה של מחט, like the eye of the needle, to open up to Teshuva. But the Kutzker Rebbe adds that this opening has to be a פתח גמור, it has to be a full opening. It cannot be open one minute and closed another. 

What happens after Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur? Is the opening we created still open? Was our inspiration in Elul just temporary for this Holy time period, but the moment חודש חשון comes along the opening closes up again?

If it was a complete and permanent opening, then Hashem can enter permanently. But if it was a temporary opening, then it won’t work. This can best be compared to a person who invites guests to stay with him for a week or two. He prepares a room for him and takes great care to prepare everything his guest will need. But after all is said and done, it is just for a week or two. But a בן בית is different. A father opens the door for his child, he does not think that in a week or two he will be leaving. The child has a permanent room and place in the house. So when we open our hearts for Hashem, are we opening it so Hashem can be a guest (אורח), or are we opening it so He can be a בן בית? Hashem doesn’t want us to just open our hearts to allow Him to enter as a guest. He wants ושכנתי בתוכם to live with us like a permanent בן בית.

To allow Hashem to enter our hearts, we have to create room for Him. When you have a guest in your home, you just move things out of the way to make space for the guest, but to allow in a בן בית you need to take things out of the room to make permanent space. If we want Hashem in our hearts, we have to remove things that are less important. We have to make a permanent spot for Him. We all have different desires in our hearts; some of us want a new fancy car, others want a new big house or kitchen, others want to be popular and respected by others. If we honestly want Hashem to enter and stay with us, we must get rid of things so that the room we make is fitting and has the proper “room” for Hashem. JUST for Hashem. We have to be willing to give some things up. We cannot go about our regular ways AND want Hashem to be in our hearts; there often isn’t room for both.

Parshat Shoftim: Hashem Wants You to Be You

The parasha begins with the words שופטים ושוטרים תתן לך “You shall set up judges and law enforcement individuals for yourself.” From this we learn the Torah is telling us to set up judges לך, for ourselves in the singular. Are each of us supposed to have our own judges? Do each of us have to be part of setting up the communal court system? What is the Torah trying to teach us here?

Some commentators say this pasuk is a hint; each one of us has to set up judges and enforcers to watch over our actions - to investigate our every move and action and to determine if they are congruent with the ways of Torah.

The sefer Otzrot HaTorah suggests there is an even deeper, hidden message: Each individual has to search within him or herself, consider the path that he/she is on --but to look only at one's own self and not draw comparisons! Do not look at others, for each individual has different strengths and weaknesses, backgrounds, and challenges. The Torah is teaching us that yes, Hashem will investigate every one of our actions, but not in comparison to another. We are all individuals and our paths to true Torah Judaism will not all look alike.

Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, the famous Netziv would tell his life story to his students with a powerful message. When he was a young boy he was not a successful student and his parents considered taking him out of Yeshivah and sending him to work. He had a burst of inspiration and committed to improve his learning and so they let him remain in Yeshivah, where eventually he became a Torah giant. He would tell over that had he left the Yeshivah and gone on to work, he would have been a good observant Jew, but when faced before Hashem at 120, he would have been asked, where is your sefer “Netziv?” Where is your volumes of work known as the “Hoemek Shayla?” I would have answered, what do you mean? I am a simple Jew, not a scholar. How could you expect me to write sefarim? The angels in heaven would have said, but you didn’t become you! You didn’t become what you had the potential to become. You were supposed to write sefarim and become the gadol hador!

The message is strong. We have to be ourselves, not compare ourselves to others. Yet, we cannot sell ourselves short. We need to investigate and explore our strengths so to ensure they are maximized throughout our lifetime. As we move through the month of Elul and prepare for the Yomim Noraim, let us take this message to heart and begin to search our souls. Let us be sure that we are becoming who we are destined to become. Furthermore, this week’s parsha is telling us we have to do it at our own pace, on the derech that is meant for us individually.